Da Vinci Code: disaster expected

I have no problem in writing it off: as a book or as a movie, as I am no Dan Brown fan, and not even that of Tom Hanks. And whoever has read the book would understand that it was no way a movie material. So we witnessed what was expected, a longish movie loaded with information, not much scope for any improvisation or showcasing of the talents. Those who saw the movie without reading the book probably found it difficult to follow, especially if one is not much aware of the History of Christianity. And those who have read it found the movie to be an exact replica presented in another medium without any modification of the form. Of course this was not the right place to expect such a thing, like what one might have experienced in Pather Panchali. But even if that's not what we expected, we at least wanted it to be better than the example of Disclosure. If you have read the Crichton novel, you better avoid the film, as there is nothing more that the film offered. Same here, and even more, actually. Dan Brown showed absolute lack of talent as a writer in terms of style and language, and Ron Howard is no better. The movie is clean and empty as a white sheet, no style, no experiment with the form, and very mediocre script and camerawork. Again, not much is expected from someone who can make a beautiful mind, a film highlighting absolute pointlessness (and thus became the best picture of the year by the Academy judges) and caricature acting (remember Mr. Crowe rotating his fingers along a spiral path, probably to help us visualize the twistedly beautiful mind he has). Paul Bettany was good in there, and he tried to make it work in Da Vinci Code as well as the albino monk. A good actor, shines in the hands of an expert director (have you seen Wimbledon?) but can't do much among mediocrity.

Tom Hanks appeared in a role that does not allow him to try his hand in bizzare attempts like gaining one-fifty pounds of fat and then reducing to the thinest creature on earth, I suppose that's the only good thing about DVC. As one of my friend told, Tom wore two expressions throughout in the movie, perplexed and more-perplexed. Not much to talk about Audrey Tautou, English with a French accent is not as enjoyable as their loaf, fry and kisses.

Displayed here is my retouched version of Vitruvian man, in a Hindu avtar. All artifacts in the hands are taken from Da Vinci's works.